Want To Be Happy? - Do This Habits

Proved Habits

There is a popular adage that says: “happiness comes as a result of happenings but joy comes as a result of knowing who you are”. This literally indicates that, for one to be happy there must be some kind of happenings - not any kind of happenings but one that  is positive in perspective: which I am sure we all agree with. We all want to be happy in many facets of life but you will agree with me that not many are:

• willing

• knowledgeable

• discipline

to pay for the costs. Happiness isn’t determined by your looks, the car you drive, the money you earn, or the clothes you wear. Instead, happiness is determined by your behaviour – your thoughts and actions. In other words, happiness is determined by your habits.

And that’s great news, isn’t it? Because it means that your happiness lies in your very own hands. You can choose which habits to cultivate in your life. If you want to be happier, simply install more happiness-boosting habits.

Happiness expressed via dancing

In this article, I want to help you with that. I have researched the science of happiness for the last couple of years and I have found a total of 31 habits common to all happy people. It’s these exact habits that make the difference between being happy with you a lot in life or being unhappy . Some of these profound common habits are:

Learn daily

➢            : “Readers are said to be leaders”, becoming happier means learning to treat yourself with respect, love, care, warmth, compassion, and kindness – just like you would treat a good friend. Humans are naturally wired to lead and be on top of issues; and one of the ways to achieve this fulfilling demand is via consistent learning because of the ever changing and dynamic world we live in.

Regular exercise: The fact is that exercise is too good a medicine to ignore. First of all, there are all the amazing physical benefits you’re getting, ranging all the way from increased energy, to lower blood pressure, to higher insulin sensitivity, to increased lifespan, to weight loss, to better sleep, and so on. 

Surveys show – and large-scale randomized interventions confirm – that exercise may very well be the most effective instant happiness booster of all activities.” – Sonja Lyubomirsky ( The How of Happiness)

Help vulnerable people

➢                       : “True happiness consists of making others happy,” says an

ancient Hindu proverb. Just meditate how refreshing it is for someone to look back and say:

“ Had it not been your timely help (being it material or word) I wouldn’t have come this far because in this life", you will agree with me that every successful man is a helped man. One study of more than 2,800 Americans over age twenty-four showed that volunteering predicted increases in happiness, life satisfaction, and self-esteem – and decreases in depression – a year later. And for adults over sixty-five, those who volunteered saw a drop in depression over an eight-year period. Other studies show that elderly adults who volunteer or give support to others actually live longer.” – Adam Grant ( Give and Take)

Ignore nonsense

➢                       : with the insatiable needs and want of life, it some time every

challenging to decipher what really makes sense to your life and what does not – and ignoring them. A series of studies conducted at the University of Rochester focused on people ‘high in mindfulness’, that is, those who are prone to be mindfully attentive to the here and now and keenly aware of their surroundings.

 It turns out that such individuals are models of flourishing mental health. Relative to the average person, they are more likely to be happy, optimistic, self-confident and satisfied with their lives, and less likely to be depressed, angry, anxious, hostile, self-conscious, impulsive or neurotic.” – Sonja Lyubomirky

Talk less

➢                       : there is a saying that goes like this “your secret is your power”. Excessive talking exposes one's secret unaware thereby rendering you powerless and exposing you to ridicule. To some of the benefits of speaking less are :

➢                       Your mind will be quite, you will be more focused.

➢                       It will improve your relation with others.

➢                       You will become a good listener, thus improving your communication skills. ...

➢                       Too much talk, can land you in trouble.

➢                       You will be clear in your thoughts.

➢                       You will earn respect from others. It also allows what you say to be wise.

➢                       You naturally do  more.

➢                       Laugh more: Laughter is your birthright, a natural part of life that is innate and inborn. Infants begin smiling during the first weeks of life and laugh out loud within months of being born. Even if you did not grow up in a household where laughter was a common sound, you can learn to laugh at any stage of life.

Begin by setting aside special times to seek out humour and laughter, as you might with exercising, and build from there. Eventually, you’ll want to incorporate humour and laughter into the fabric of your life, finding it naturally in everything.

It’s ignite happiness to share a good laugh, but did you know it can actually improve your health? Learn how to harness the powerful benefits of laughter. It’s true: laughter is strong medicine. It draws people together in ways that trigger healthy physical and emotional changes in the body. 

Laughter strengthens your immune system, boosts mood, diminishes pain, and protects you from the damaging effects of stress. Nothing works faster or more dependably to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh. Humour lightens your burdens, inspires hope, connects you to others, and keeps you grounded, focused, and alert. It also helps you release anger and forgive sooner.

 With so much power to heal and renew, the ability to laugh easily and frequently is a tremendous resource for surmounting problems, enhancing your relationships, and supporting both physical and emotional health. Best of all, this priceless medicine is fun, free, and easy to use. As children, we used to laugh hundreds of times a day, but as adults, life tends to be more serious and laughter more infrequent. But by seeking out more opportunities for humour and laughter, you can improve your emotional health, strengthen your relationships, find greater happiness—and even add years to your life.

➢ Don’t show off: Speaking of showing of, one trap we too often fall into is showing off ourselves to other people. We get caught up in such philosophical questions as: “How are they doing?” “What did they achieve?” “What kind of car are they driving?” “Are they more successful than me?” “Or am I more successful?” And, of course: “How do I measure up?” The happiest among us simply don’t engage in that kind of thinking very often. According to Sonja Lyubomirsky, the happier a person, the less social showing off they do. She writes in The How of Happiness. 

• Forgive yourself and other people: Do you know that forgiving yourself is one of the most difficult things to do than to  even forgive others yet the most rewarding as far as happiness is concerned. Self unforgiven is the bedrock initiating factor for bitterness- bitterness will never make you better in life and being happy.

 The Buddha once said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned."

What a great metaphor, perfectly illustrating how our inability to forgive harms ourselves more than anybody else, including our wrong-doers. If we want happiness, we need to learn to forgive ourselves and others, to let go of negative emotions of anger, hate, hostility, grief, vengeance, resentment, and so on. Few people fully realize the huge impact the ability to forgive can have on their happiness… But important it is: forgiving people tend to be happier, healthier, and more empathetic.”– Christine Carter (sociologist and happiness expert)

No entitlement:

        As we grew older, some of us would learn to wait our turn, be patient and show consideration for others.  Some of us, however, didn’t. Linked with self-love(narcism) in the world of psychoanalysis, having a sense of entitlement can easily be mistaken as natural, and even healthy.  After all, don’t our parents and societies constantly tell us that “we’re unique”, “we’re special”, and “we’re number one”?

The truth is, having a sense of entitlement is a cancerous form of self-love because it often harms the people around us, which indirectly harms us in the long term.  In essence, a sense of entitlement is established and upheld by the belief that we are the centre of the universe, and if the universe doesn’t meet our needs and desires, all hell will break loose.

This narcissistic mind-set is often the result of failing to learn as children and young adults that we are not so special, and other people don’t merely exist to serve our needs and wants.

Some typical examples of self-love sense of entitlement behaviours include the following:

➢  Tim and Esther are in a long-term relationship.  Tim works full time to support Esther and their child in a small two bedroom apartment.  Esther spends a large portion of Tim’s money on dresses and fancy accessories.  When confronted, Esther screams that she never wanted to live a “poor and lonely life”, and Tim never treats her anyway.

➢  Ama and Kofi are best friends.  But when Ama doesn’t respond to one of Kofi’s texts within half an hour, Kofi blocks her and doesn’t talk to her for the next week.  Kofi fights with Ama accusing her of “not caring” and “forgetting about him”.  

These are only a few illustrations, but there are countless stories out there that exemplify both passive and aggressive disregard for others.

Concluding, engage in the habits of happy people and you will become happier. Engage in the habits of miserable people and you will become miserable. It’s as simple as that.

If you try many of the happiness habits on this page and still feel constantly depressed and angry, you may want to seek some professional assistance . There may be deeper underlying issues that are keeping you from the happiness that you need to talk to a therapist or psychologist to handle properly…

I hope if you endeavour to follow the given lots of happiness-boosting habits, and if you adopt even just a few of them, I am convinced it will make a big difference in your overall health, well-being, and happiness. 

                                                                                                                              By Francis Aidoo,Accra